The Room Is Alive: Practicing Trauma-Informed Collaboration in a Time of Systemic Tenderness

Have you ever walked into a room and sensed something unspoken hanging in the air?

A subtle charge. A flicker of tension in someone’s jaw. The breath that catches just before someone speaks. These moments—often overlooked or rationalized away—are part of what it means to work in a world where unprocessed pain, systemic harm, and emotional labor are woven into our organizational cultures.

In my years of facilitating, I’ve come to understand that trauma is not just a psychological issue. It’s an atmospheric one. It lives in rooms, in silences, in expectations we don’t question. And yet, so often, the call to “be trauma-informed” gets flattened into a checkbox, or reserved for therapists and social workers.

But what if being trauma-informed is actually about how we hold each other, in real time, in the everyday spaces of work?

Beyond Training: The Practice of Self-Curiosity

Many people come into our course on trauma-informed collaboration hoping to better understand others—how to respond when someone is overwhelmed, how to name trauma when it shows up in teams, how to support colleagues more compassionately.

What they often don’t expect is how deeply they’ll be invited into their own experience first.

What happens in your body when someone raises their voice? What do you notice when silence lingers too long? How does your nervous system respond when you're asked to lead a difficult conversation?

The gateway to holding others well is curiosity about ourselves. And that curiosity—if we stay with it—can gently shape how we relate to those around us. It’s not about fixing, rescuing, or resolving. It’s about staying present. Letting people have their experience. Making room.

Workplaces as Echo Chambers

Here’s a truth many of us learn the hard way: our workplaces often replicate our early environments. They stir up dynamics that feel hauntingly familiar—sometimes comforting, often tender. It’s no surprise that long-held coping strategies get activated in the face of deadlines, feedback, power, or even praise.

We’ve been told to “bring our whole selves to work.” And yet, many of us have learned that doing so—without the right support—can lead to hurt, misunderstanding, or even re-traumatization.

Trauma-informed collaboration isn’t about everyone laying their souls bare. It’s about creating the conditions where people can choose what they share. It’s about building inner landscapes resilient enough to allow more of ourselves to be present. And collective environments spacious enough to hold what emerges.

A Few Myths to Let Go Of

Myth 1: Trauma-informed = therapy at work - No. This work isn’t about diagnosing or intervening. It’s about creating the kind of relational integrity where people feel seen, not scrutinized.

Myth 2: We all just need to be trained - No single training will fix a culture. But consistent practice—of noticing, pausing, owning our impact, staying curious—can shift everything.

Myth 3: It slows things down Sometimes it does. But not in the way people fear. Trauma-informed practice helps us slow down the right things—reactivity, blame, urgency—so that the right things can move with clarity.

Holding Tension: Psychological Safety & Accountability

One of the deepest paradoxes in this work is learning to hold psychological safety alongside accountability. We often think they’re opposites: that to hold people accountable means being harsh or corrective, while safety is soft and accommodating.

But safety and accountability can—and must—coexist. In fact, it’s precisely when people feel held with care that they can stretch into discomfort, repair harm, and grow. That’s what trauma-informed collaboration teaches us: how to create systems and relationships that can hold both truth and tenderness.

Another paradox: we’re all impacted by trauma, and yet we’re not all affected in the same ways. Personal healing cannot replace collective liberation. And vice versa. We need both.

Who Has Shaped My Thinking

I’ve been profoundly shaped by the work of Resmaa Menakem, Staci Haines, and Bessel van der Kolk—but also by newer and decolonial voices that challenge dominant narratives:

• Prentis Hemphill – What It Takes to Heal
• Rai Waddingham – on relational approaches to psychosis and trauma
• Rupa Marya & Raj Patel – Inflamed: Deep Medicine and the Anatomy of Injustice
• Tricia Hersey – We Will Not Rest
• Ruth King – Mindful of Race

And in spaces like the For The Wild podcast, or Miki Kashtan and Bayo Akomolafe’s writing, I find reminders that this work isn’t just about fixing systems—it’s about sensing into new ones.

If the Room Is Alive…

…then we need to listen with more than our ears.

Becoming trauma-informed isn’t a certification. It’s a way of noticing. Of attuning. Of learning how to stay with the life that’s already here, even when it’s uncomfortable.

This autumn, I’m co-facilitating an 11-week course with Greaterthan Academy on the foundations of trauma-informed collaboration. It’s designed for facilitators, team leaders, coaches, and organizational change-makers who want to meet this moment with more integrity, attunement, and courage.

But more than anything, it’s for anyone who knows that our ability to hold complexity together is the future of work.

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